VERILY DEVASTATING AND immeasurably heartbreaking is the passing away of one’s parents that literally wreaks havoc with the offspring. The never-healing wound wrought about by the saddest incident and consequent trauma continues indefinitely and unabated. Put it succinctly, the vacuum created by the heart-wrenching and extraordinarily painful occurrence of parental transition from here (the ephemeral) to eternity orphaning the offspring and that especially of one’s mom literally deprives the progeny of her perennial blessings in this world. The enormity and magnitude of the shock and grief associated with this tragedy is beyond description that causes a vacuum never to fill.
In short, it is such a moment of profound grief that no ceaseless mourning or wailing of sorts for the departed soul on the part of the children and the dear and near ones, is to make this gigantic loss reparable in any way; nor can it make the mom’s abiding limitless love, care and affection recoupable or retrievable to put it succinctly. In this way, the consequent traumatic state in the children’s life has to persist all along throughout their lives.
Briefly put, the mom’s demise is further compounded by the deprivation already caused by the loss of fatherly affection which the mother’ presence would mitigate. Thus the death of the towering personalities of mom and dad is akin to crumbling of the shelter overhead where one is completely left in lurch when the offspring needed them very much.
There can be no gainsaying the fact that every heartbeat takes every one of us nearer the grave and as such the inevitable must happen with all beings bound to savor the bitterness of death and leave for the eternity as becoming well evident from: “We all belong to Allah and to Him shall we return”. The axiomatic validity that the span of our life linger between two decisive events id est Life and Death. The primary events expressed in and conveyed by the words ‘Life and Death’ though antonyms are inexorable. Also undeniable is the fact that every single moment that lapse after the first event i.e ‘Life’ takes every one of us nearer to the final event i.e ‘Death’ which does not become complete without the other.
Wherever you be, death will chase/overtake you, even if you be in towers (strong and lofty) (4:34)
God takes the soul at death and those that die not (He takes) during their sleep, and He withholds those on who he has passed the decree of death (from returning to their bodies), but sends He the others (of their bodies) till at time which is fixed, verily in this are signs for all people who reflect. (93:42)
And for every people is (an appointed) term so when comes their (appointed) term, they shall not remain behind and hour (even or a least while) nor can they go before. (7.35)
The moment of death is predestined, nothing can ever alter it. Regardless of all the soul-searching, the passing away of one’s mom especially becomes so much tormenting and desponding with the enormity of the anguish that one may literally feel left in lurch in this world.
But nonetheless, the bereavements of the sort come in varying situations. For instance, my beloved mom aged around 90, passed away on 30th January at 10.00 PM after protracted illness and recently after having remained on ventilator for about 12 days in the wake of the passage of my illustrious father from ephemeral world to eternity occurred on 27th Ramdhan in the year 1994. But nevertheless, the luminous presence of beloved mom all along acted as a prop that made us poised to overcome the grief arising out of father’s death. The availability of motherly love and her ceaseless blessings were instrumental in assuaging the consequent trauma that resulted from our dad’s demise through all these years.
As fate would have it, she was taken seriously ill and remained bedridden for nearly four years preceding the final stage but nonetheless, she would talk less until she went into coma a fortnight ago and was rushed to a private hospital in Islamabad where she was admitted and oxygenated. On the very first day of her hospitalization, she improved a little bit so my brother sought permission from the doc treating her to give permission for her shifting back home for oxygenation and continuing medication as per prescription. On the fateful day of 30th January, at around 10PM, she breathed her last in Islamabad at the home of my younger brother on whose insistence, her interment took place at H-11 Graveyard the following day. Heartbroken and completely devastated, I beseech all friends and relatives to pray for the departed soul. May her soul be blessed and rest in eternal peace. Amen!In the end, it is pertinent here to reproduce a recent beautiful poetical composition dated 04.01.2021, of Wali Nagri encapsulating the limitles pain and reflective of indescribable trauma resulting from one's mom's passing away:-
یہ جو ایک نظم لکھی ہے میں نے
اس کا ہر مصرع آزاد میرا بچپن تھا
اس کا ہر حرف ہر ایک لفظ تبسم میرا
وہ میرا گھر تھا میرا آنگن تھا
میں اس آنگن میں بہت شوق سے کھیلا کرتا
ایک سکوں تھا میرے آنگن میں کویَ خوف نہ تھا
پھر بھی ماں کی یہ صدا گونجتی بیٹا ! بیٹا !
جان مادر تو کہاں ہے ادھر آ ! دور نہ جا !
مجھکو اوجھل کبھی نظروں سے نہ ہونے دیتی
مجھ کو جھولے میں جھلاتی اور سناتی لوری
اس کی لوری میں دعا اس کی دعا میں برکت
ایسی برکت کہ مقدر کے ستارے چمکے
اس کی گودی میری جنت بخدا جنت تھی
جانے کیوں مجھ کو نکالا گیا آدم کی طرح
میرے ماتھے پہ محبت کا جو بوسہ ہے ثبت
یہ میری ماں کی نشانی ہے ولی تا بہ ابد